Power Is Within But for the Outside

No one likes the weak. It doesn’t mean the weak is despised or hated. But whatever is given to a weak can be anything but not admiration or love of attachment. We are kind to the weak, charitable, sympathetic, or supportive, only. Realize: the weak is a burden. It’s thus okay to feel weak from time to time, but never dump your weakness for a period that you make burden on those around you. Be prudent in how much weakness to show, when, and for how long.

But from where Power comes? Definitely, many things bring it: authority of a position, fame, intelligence, money… If you enumerated all of the alike sources and reflected on them, you will find one thing they all lack in common: Self Perception. And what they all have in common? Volatility. All sources of power can be taken away: a position lost, health deteriorated, or money wasted.

You may be fortunate enough to possess one or many sources of power, but you may live weakly. Yes, you show up to office everyday with all that glory and strength in your face, lash out at people here and there, but deep inside, you are beaten. Self-Perception is not a replacement to sources of power or else it would be an illusion; if you are a street beggar and has self-perception of power, it just means you are high on something. The key is that no real power without power in yourself. And power of your self while could be tied to the existence of a source of power yet it survives beyond it when that source is gone. It becomes part of your identity. Just imagine yourself a world leader who fought for humanity in your term. After office term while you are sitting in your living room watching TV, you would still have this sense of power inside you preserved.

But power in yourself combined with one or more sources of power may also yield tyranny, evil, or self-interest. When you have high sense of authority or privilege, your abilities and confidence can lead you astray. That’s when your source of power and your self-perception of it must be directed to something outside you, something larger than you: people’s good, efficiency, a great product, or humanity.

That’s the triangle of strength: Source of Power, Self-Perception of it, and larger cause outside you. And remember, nobody likes the weak.

The Diaspora of Self

The Self in its essential core does not brittle down unless the reason of its existence is realized. And the Self existence realization is an ongoing process not a discrete destination. This is for our good; so that we keep enjoying the realization of our Self’s existence every day rather than living tensed and miserable until that end is reached – and fret on the concept of death before reaching that destination. It follows then that Self’s existential realization is a State of Living; made possible by living in accordance to why your Self was made into existence.

The diaspora the human being is living and his pathological grip on life and fear of death is a manifestation of the diaspora of the Self and its apartness from its cause of existence. It’s when the Self is led on the course of its existence realization that everything in the universe is found to be in place. This is not to say that by then heaven shall be found on earth; however, the Self inside the human would not live in diaspora anymore yet shall be united, calmed, and secured; and proceed calmly in its due course of its existence realization.

The human has been granted the existence. Then, it’s up to you discovering the reason for your existence and realize it. First discover your true life’s calling; then, start your journey of realizing it. You will find peace in your every day living. Peace is not a life’s state where every thing in your life is great, but a very small corner in your life to which you can have a shelter from life’s disappointments and frustrations. And that kind of peace is not there for one living with a fearful Self divorced from its meaning.

Time

You are not your acquaintances. You are not your body. You are not your clothes. You are not your job… You are not even your thoughts!

You are time. You are like the Hourglass; as one grain of sand passes through, it’s part of it went away. Each grain of sand is like a day in your life, an hour. As the time passes, it’s part of you that is passed. It’s weird after that to see people trying to accomplish something independent of that awareness; independent of the dimension of time. The best they do is to add the dimension of time as a target date or a deadline; however, this is still not adding time in the equation. Aiming for a target or creating a timelined plan about yourself or your life is not like considering how you spend your hour of time. Timelined plans can make you see what you do with the days or months or years, but not the fleeting hours of your own Today. The result could be accomplished life per plan, but a life that always missed the Today, the present. That is to add: You are not your achievements. You are the time you have taken to do these achievements.

What you do in life yes is what defines you; your actions and achievements. However, underlying these is your time. How many persons we know of high achievements who still missed their time. If you will spend 80% of your lifetime on achievements, be sure that the other 20% are aligned with your achievements. And that your time, you, is well spent. Live in Today and care for how you are spent… For that you are nothing but hours.

Recreate Yourself

The incentive of recreation is loss not gain; failure rather than success. You recreate yourself to adapt to a situation or a condition, characterized by loss or shortage. Recreation is a chance given to you to rise from your loss; not necessarily by removing the loss, but mostly by adapting yourself to it thus compensating for it. This is something important to realize because some people think that you create yourself based on gain so they keep waiting for the best times in their lives to come so that they recreate themselves. This (based on gains) is not recreation, but arrogance. For example, when buying a Mercedes or relocating to an expensive neighbourhood to stop knowing your old neighbourhood friends and start bonding with new one.

Recreation is something different. You first realize the shortage or the negative part. Then, for each shortage or negative set an objective or a goal – that is, define what would be the opposite side of that negative part. I said the opposite side because not every negative in our lives would necessarily have a possible positive accessible to us. However, every negative would have an opposite side, which is your adaptation to it. Take for example the blind. There is no positive, but there is an opposite side, which could be nurturing other senses to compensate for loss of sight. Whatever your shortage or negatives, there is always an opposite side. It’s you how defines that opposite side.

Once you have realized the shortage or the negative and you defined an opposite side for each, start defining and taking daily steps to achieve that opposite side – this is the Mean. You need to know what is the suitable vehicle that would take you from the starting point to the destination potion. The mean could be a change of a habit or a change of attitude or a change of perception. Some destinations are reached by attitude change, some by exercise…etc. Choosing the wrong mean could mislead you. Based on your full understanding of what is your problem and what’s the desired end you want, the suitable mean would be clear to you.

These three elements you must reflect on and write down: The negatives in your life, what is the opposite side you which to achieve for each, and what’s the suitable mean that would carry you to there. Once you have them written down, act. Act and review on them daily before you sleep. Recreate yourself!

The Lost Life

If I came to ask you, what would be the elements that increase the probability of failure in something? You will pause and think a bit; then, answer me it’s 1, 2, 3, …etc. Now that you listed them, can I ask you how to avoid each element in order to avoid failure? You will pause and think a little while; then, answer me, for 1, we can do such and such; for 2, we can do such and such. Now you started to put solutions to avoid failure. The exercise is now finished.

Now, let me ask you, would it have been possible for you to avoid failure without first answering the first question by listing the elements that cause failure? Obviously, NO! Here is the essence, if you are not aware of the thing, you would be leaving the thing for chances. It could go successfully; and it could go wrong.

The same thing is with your life. If you live it without Self-Awareness, your life is left for chances. You may come after the time has passed to discovered that you wasted it; and you may to discover that your life was lost in vain at your death bed. Bottom line, the Lost Life is the life lived without Self-Awareness. This is very dangerous. Life is very captivating and it’s stronger than the human, who is weak, prone to mistakes, and easily distracted. Only the human with solid self-awareness overpowers life…Life takes him away sometimes, but his continuous self-awareness becomes the guardian that brings him back to track every time he goes astray.

Want to see this in action, as an exercise for you, while you are in the crowd, look around you; see the people around… You will easily see some humans living strangely enough for you to wonder how come they are living this way. The direct answer is that they are just living…without self-awareness. Now don’t be that absent in life. Self-awareness is  not something granted, it’s a bless. It’s not something genetic, it’s acquired. It requires continuous practice + honesty. Be warned, the self is a powerful beast lurking inside you…At first, it will attempt to fool you. It will throw to you initial responses that make you think that it’s responding; it will give you false answers aligned with your mental and psychological comfort zone. That’s why honesty is essential for self-awareness to be true. Without honesty, self-awareness can lead you to the same end as without self-awareness, an absent state, or even more worse because without honesty, self-awareness will make you live in a world other than the reality; which is again being absent from the reality of your life. But when you possess self-awareness and you are honest about it, it will tell you the reality of how you are living and the reality of life around. Only then, you can adjust yourself and adjust the way you are living.

Remember, a lost life, is a life lived without self-awareness that is honest and continuously in action.

 

Who You Are? (On Identity Crisis)

Your identity is something that gets shaped over the span of your lifetime from childhood up to adolescence and so forth. Many factors contributed to who you became now: primary socialization (parents), environment, friends, study, society, religion…etc. Going through these factors while you traverse your life timeline you interact with them; and it’s your interaction to these factors that shapes your unique identity. The unique identity is the perception you hold about who you think you are; uniquely as a person or collectively within a member of a community or group (our identity is not separate from belongingness).

Given the strength of factors and their enduring nature that shaped you all these years, who you are might be something that exist only in your mind. This has dramatic impacts on the quality of your life and its healthiness. Here are two types of life-led identity: 1) If you are convinced that who you are is really out there and reflected in your life while in reality it’s only existing in your mind; then, you will live an illusion and eventually you will discover the truth of who you were only on your death bed (or if you are lucky enough that life shocks you with the reality on the way so you wake up and revise yourself). 2) If you are aware that who you are is existing only in your mind and is not reflected in your life; then, you will be living depressed and tensed that your life is not aligned with what you identify yourself of being. However, this second one is better than the first because in this case there is always a chance that you actualize your mind existing identity. At any case, awareness is a God given capability a human being can have; that I believe, God did not grant for everybody in this specific sense, awarenss of one’s self and that self’s doings. Now let’s discuss what causes behind these types and what we should do about them.

The first type, a person living convinced that he is the one that he thinks he is; by ‘he thinks’ I mean he spends his life totally convinced that he lived doing and qualified in that doing during his life time. For example, how many times we hear singers talking in TV shows on how talened they are and how valuable their work to the human kind. You hear an actor talking on how his new movie has fixed a whole society and how his movie has discussed a societal case…that without his movie, people would have lived in the dark age! You hear those actors and singers while you can see that they are totally convinced that they are saving their community by discussing red-line cases in their movies. They live convinced of their doings which are representing values to the community. A less dramatic example away of celebrities, is university professors; for example. Some of university professors live convinced that they are educating students and how their doing is a sainted one. They live convinced that they are giving the science and enlightening knowledge to the generation. And many many many of these examples we see in our daily life when visiting a doctor, a lawyer…to hearing street folks talking about football matches as if they are the experts of it. The dangerous pattern is not talking or doing, the dangerous pattern starts to kick in when you see that the person is really convinced that he is really this person or he is really doing this while in fact he is not that person and he is not really doing it. In this regard, Prophet Mohammed says “God have given Mercy to a human who truely knew who he is”. Yes its a mercy granted by your self-awareness that God did not grant for everybody.

The second type is less dangerous, but unfortunately, very painful and unhealthy. This is the person who lives identifying himself as something or someone yet he knows that this is the identity he has for himself in his mind only but he is not actually doing that something or being that someone. For example, a person may live holding the identity that he is a scientist or an expert in something yet he is not doing research or providing knowledge in this thing. It’s like saying “I am a scientist”…but actually you are spending your life going to your ‘non-scientific’ employment during the day and watching TV or hanging out in the evening. You are not spending your daily life reading papers, doing research, investigating knowledge, writing articles, publishing research, communicating with like-minded scientists….etc. In other words, you identify yourself as someone and that’s the identity you hold for yourself in your mind yet your life is not reflecting this identity…but the difference here from the first type is that You Are Aware and Know very well that you are not living the person or the thing you identify yourself with. This is depressive and unhealthy because you will not enjoy your life; you go to the morning work not enjoying and you watch TV at night not enjoying…because deep inside you that’s not the life of the someone or something that you have in your mind.

About the treatment for those two types. In its straightforward sense, the first type treatment is to be shocked by a life event someday that forces him to see his reality in its nakedness. Now, that person will painfully discover that he is not who he thinks he was or was doing. That’s a type of mercy from God by which God confronts the human to a painful experience for him to wake up; it’s a mercy given in a type of a lesson. That’s why in front of painful experiences, it’s important to learn from them and see the lesson delivered by God instead of just whinning about them. There is still a second treatment for the first type that is less painful and is God given as well which is the person suddenly sees the reality. It could be through seeing some event not related to him or he just wake up spontaneously someday. How many of us got aware of something by seeing another person paying for a similar mistake and how many of us just happen to change their way of life because of a day in which you could see the reality in its truth for the first time. Secondly, the treatment for the second type. The treatment is simply human-will and discipline. For those who hold an identity that they are someone or something yet not exercising this in their life. Why what you think you really is not reflected in your life while you know it’s not? It because you don’t have the strong will to do what it takes for the identity you have or because you don’t have the discipline. For example, if you identify yourself as a scientist in Medicine, well that’s good, but you will need a strong will to work out through challenges, a will to pay the effort and stress, and a will to force that identity into your existence. You will need a discipline because you will need to spend lots of time reading research, writing, investigating, reading lots of books, and hard time thinking. The discipline is needed to tailor your life to this person’s type of living and give away some pleasures, which if you looked carefully, will find that you are not truely enjoying them because your identity is not in your life (if you are the second type). To conclude, for the first type of identity holders, you will need to look around you carefully and learn lessons delivered to you and to those around you; you will need to increase your awareness so that you detect illusions about who you think you are. For the second type of identity holders, what are you waiting for; work your will and discipline yourself in getting what you know you are into your life. Don’t leave who you are to be just in your mind…live it in every hour of your life.

All of the above are details; however, I would like to close this post with a quick and straightforward words that can be used and memorized for the above details that you can always remember as you go in the journey of your life: Who you are is what you spend your days doing. If you think you are an honest person, watch your daily life and ask yourself: Do I acted this day as an honest person? If you think you are a writer, watch your daily life and ask yourself: Did I spend some time writing or studying for writing or learning for writing? If you think you are a scientist in a field, watch your daily life and ask yourself: Did I read books in my area of scientific interest or did I read research papers in my field or did I spend time with scientific problems I wish to solve?

To be what you think you are or to be what you want to be, make sure that you do the things of that person or that something every day. You will be what you identify yourself to be and you will be what you want to be…

Apology to the essential person

The most explicit form of apology is when we apologize to others for wrong doings or pain we might have caused to them. But in many cases, we neglect to apologize to the essential person; one’s own self. Many of the mistakes we do to others are initially mistakes we do to ourselves.

When we apologize to ourselves for the shortcomings we have and by them we have caused pain to others, we not only acknowledge our own mistakes toward others but also we acknowledge that repair starts from within. When we work on making a better version of us, now we can shine our light to all around us.

We stay regretful to all what we have caused to our friends, our families, and our beloved. As we move in life, we get sadness and we cause sadness…and in every move, we should apologize to ourselves alongside our apologies to the person we have offended. With this, we will have to work on not causing ourselves the pain that we feel by causing pain to others. When you apologize to yourself as part of the equation, you will have to do something about it from the sense of ownership; thus, you will change. However, when you only apologize to the other, you will be trying to do something for the other like saying words or buying gifts…but you, the one who made the mistake, will remain the same.

When we do mistakes to others, let’s not only focus on apologizing to them and making it up for the person to whom we caused pain, but also let’s apologize for that self that we shaped in this image that caused all of this pain to others.

Why do we put that self inside us in that image that causes pain to others? Apologize for the essential person; your own self…for that you are the one who put that self in that image which caused all these pains.

Silence

Silence is a concept dealt with by many philosophers and is fundamental to all religions and traditions. In this post, I am not attempting to dive into Silence from the roots, but to touch upon it in a way that is near to everybody. Simply, sometimes we say “We don’t want to talk anybody”; when conditions enforce upon us the urge to withdrow alone and remain Silent. Here, we would like to scratch on that.

Silence

The folks sometimes talk about silence in its outter figure that it gives to the silent; making him looks more stable, misteriously attractive, and standing. In this sense, Silence can be a powerful social element and a mean of attraction. However, words of wisedom and religions talked about Silence in it inner implications that it gives to the silent. In Chinnese philosophy, for example, we find Silence an integral part of its spiritualities; like Confucius says “Silence is the true friend that never betrays”. We find it an integral part of meditation where not only we silence the body, but also we attempt to silence our thoughts and mind in order to develop it and reach truths about life. But all of these could be the intentional uses of Silence. When we go to meditate, when we sit attemptedly to be Silent, or when we set silent among a gathering for social reasons. But what is Silence to our daily lives?

Silence is a powerful way of expressing different feelings; sadness, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, boredom, thoughtfulness, pain, pleasure, or love, and many more. However, the impact of Silence at its inner face is different in every situation. For example, when we are Silent towards pain, this is Silence for tolerance. When we are Silent towards pleasure, this is Silence for sensation. When we are Silent towards sadness, this is Silence for grieve. And it goes…

Regardless of the numerous forms enumerated, the most profound is what’s about us when we are Silent and its impact on us. As can be seen in the previous paragraph, Silence in our daily lives comes with a reciprocal property about us; it doesn’t happen alone…It happens for something else or some other feeling to happen that without Silence, that something or feeling may not happen. And here comes the importance of Silence as advised by traditions and religions…to be Silent for other things to happen that without Silence they may not happen. These things that come up with the advent of Silence is what makes our growth in many directions. For example, in a helpless situation, we can yell or we can be Silent. When we yell and moarn on our helplessness, we get depression or fear, but when we remain Silent, faith will emerge. When we get angry, we can fight and shout or we can remain Silent; the first causes destruction to ourselves and the others while the second teaches control. And when we love, we sometimes remain Silent…for that love may exceed words and becomes a movement of the soul.

In every situation in our lives, there is a chance of learning new and unqiue properties through Silence. That said, not all situations require Silence, some requires the contrary for prudence. However, we shall use Silence to nurture the valuable properties it implants in us for the suitable time…For that, unlike Confucius, Silence is a tutor of emotions