Frustration (Episode 1)

I thought of writing a quick post on a wide spread illness we suffer from in this ever increasing stresses and tightness of life. I also received some emails from different people as part of the Philosophy of Living In Your Own Words initiative; most of these emails entailed problems in which base frustration lies. This encouraged me to try to write this post to all of us!

Let’s start by putting a straightforward definition of frustration; in which I will put one derived from our own experiences and not a dictionary definition. In its basic sense, Frustration as we feel it is a situation when reality misses our expectations. Simply put, you expect or want A, life gives you B (or just don’t give you A)…you feel frustrated. And frustration peaks when what we expect or want is a basic legitimate need or expectation; like a job, home, or love.

There are two common sources of frustration: one caused by life and one caused by ourselves or the choices we make.

The most obvious cause of frustration is the one caused by life; which happens due to two things: either 1) life missed your expectation or need by not giving it to you or 2) life stresses and pushes you to have a need or an expectation that obviously currently not in your life. For example, you have a need or an ambition to be a doctor; destiny blocks your way and you couldn’t gain entrance to a Medicine school; you get frustrated. Another example, when you expect someone or a lover to give you a certain feeling and he/she doesn’t; you get frustrated. In these examples, life here misses your need or expectation. On the other sub-type, for example, living a quality of life became very expensive, so life stresses you to make more money which at this stress onset you are not having that more money; so you get frustrated. The difference is that the first is something incepted in us while the second wasn’t in us but life forced it on us. This difference as it seems clear but it is important as we will see later.

The other source of frustration is less obvious and sometimes dormant that it keeps disintegrating our health, happiness, personality, and focus; frustration caused by ourselves or the choices we make. This source of frustration is ultimately dangerous because suffering from it will cause us to lose what we have and will not achieve what we want to have due to blaming everything around us for causing us this frustration and never realize that it is our own choices that are causing us all the pains.

— Stay tunned for the next episode on Frustration as I compile more stories from readers. Feel free to share your views on Frustration!

The unforgotten

Could be a person, a place, or a memory; it’s something that remains unforgotten. Being tied to someone or a place or a memory that keeps enduring the ages is something intriguing. Even if we seem to pass on with our lives, it remains unforgotten inside us and gets out traumatically every now or then.

Away of any medical justifications, I am dealing with that casually on the very human level. Like I said, the purpose of this philosophy of living posts is to be near to every one of us without over philosophizing things.

Why don’t we forget some persons or memories in our lives? Is it that person or memory had an impact in our lives? Or is it because we love this person or memory? Or is it because we got emotionally used to someone or some things we used to do and now are memories? If it is because of just being used to someone or something, well, with time passing without practicing doing something or being with someone, we shall start not to be ‘used to’; therefore, we will forget. So it’s not because we are used to something or someone; unless this ‘used to’ comes hand in hand with another things like I will discuss. The matter of the unforgotten is bigger than just being used to.

It remains now the ‘impact’ reason or the ‘love’ reason. Firstly, what’s about the impact? Sometimes we don’t forget because someone or something has placed an impact on us or our lives; positive or negative. Secondly, the ‘love’ factor. I believe that love is the element that resembles all; the impact and the used to. This is because when we love someone or something; then, we will be used to the beauty we have when being with that someone or when doing that something and we will be impacted by that someone or something regardless of being it negative or positive. We may directly understand the positive, but why the negative when I speak of love involvement? Because if we don’t love any about that someone or that thing; then, we wouldn’t be shaken by the negative. For example, if you don’t love driving cars, you won’t be affected positively when there is a car and; thus, you won’t be affected negatively with lacking one. Another example, when you have a bad father who caused you pains in your life, when you feel angry on him it’s because he harmed you, but at the same time it’s because you was in need to the positive rather than the negative from him. Thus, it’s love; because if there was no love involved, you wouldn’t be in need to the positive and then you won’t be affected by the negative.

At the end I would say, the person or the memory that we can’t forget is because we do love that person or that memory or anything about that something. And we may spend time battling with ourselves to forget that person or that memory. However, it’s for mental healthiness not to try to force ourselves to forget because the mind that is touched by love shall be continuously in need to live with that person or that memory unforgotten.

Live with the unforgotten inside you; it’s a very humanly feeling.

To the unforgotten in our life, we didn’t and we won’t forget you…because we love you and we love something about you.

Silence

Silence is a concept dealt with by many philosophers and is fundamental to all religions and traditions. In this post, I am not attempting to dive into Silence from the roots, but to touch upon it in a way that is near to everybody. Simply, sometimes we say “We don’t want to talk anybody”; when conditions enforce upon us the urge to withdrow alone and remain Silent. Here, we would like to scratch on that.

Silence

The folks sometimes talk about silence in its outter figure that it gives to the silent; making him looks more stable, misteriously attractive, and standing. In this sense, Silence can be a powerful social element and a mean of attraction. However, words of wisedom and religions talked about Silence in it inner implications that it gives to the silent. In Chinnese philosophy, for example, we find Silence an integral part of its spiritualities; like Confucius says “Silence is the true friend that never betrays”. We find it an integral part of meditation where not only we silence the body, but also we attempt to silence our thoughts and mind in order to develop it and reach truths about life. But all of these could be the intentional uses of Silence. When we go to meditate, when we sit attemptedly to be Silent, or when we set silent among a gathering for social reasons. But what is Silence to our daily lives?

Silence is a powerful way of expressing different feelings; sadness, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, boredom, thoughtfulness, pain, pleasure, or love, and many more. However, the impact of Silence at its inner face is different in every situation. For example, when we are Silent towards pain, this is Silence for tolerance. When we are Silent towards pleasure, this is Silence for sensation. When we are Silent towards sadness, this is Silence for grieve. And it goes…

Regardless of the numerous forms enumerated, the most profound is what’s about us when we are Silent and its impact on us. As can be seen in the previous paragraph, Silence in our daily lives comes with a reciprocal property about us; it doesn’t happen alone…It happens for something else or some other feeling to happen that without Silence, that something or feeling may not happen. And here comes the importance of Silence as advised by traditions and religions…to be Silent for other things to happen that without Silence they may not happen. These things that come up with the advent of Silence is what makes our growth in many directions. For example, in a helpless situation, we can yell or we can be Silent. When we yell and moarn on our helplessness, we get depression or fear, but when we remain Silent, faith will emerge. When we get angry, we can fight and shout or we can remain Silent; the first causes destruction to ourselves and the others while the second teaches control. And when we love, we sometimes remain Silent…for that love may exceed words and becomes a movement of the soul.

In every situation in our lives, there is a chance of learning new and unqiue properties through Silence. That said, not all situations require Silence, some requires the contrary for prudence. However, we shall use Silence to nurture the valuable properties it implants in us for the suitable time…For that, unlike Confucius, Silence is a tutor of emotions