Existence & Phenomenological Experiences

A Nameless Word

I came to this life out of nowhere; incepted by the Creator for a purpose of Him but not mine. Since then, left on my own to keep moving, to keep discovering, to keep daring; to hit, to sin…Until I come to the purpose of my existence coinciding with that of His purpose. To that end, life is a journey of something other than itself…Coming to it with nothing, and leaving it with nothing, deeming life in itself as nothing. Limited by my physical body, I am destined to feel, to desire, to sicken, to pain, to suffer…deprived from not seeing everything, not hearing everything, full knowledge, full understanding, full awareness. To that end, I wished to live without my body…A wish identical to that of death; for only at the moment of death, we would leave our limiting bodies and exist in essence. But even conceiving this is not possible…because of our limited knowledge about death. To make a wish and not have a knowledge to make that wish…a paradox that makes us stand still in the middle, wanting it yet not wanting it. How courageous was Socrates to delight about death at his death table awaiting execution with poison? How calm he was to comfort his crying friends? How knowledge-loving person he was to lecture his pupils who came to farewell him with a brilliant lecture on death? He received death so calmly and delightfully just for this…that death will take away his long limiting body and free his soul to where it can know more.

I was given that breath to live beyond thy life…to keep working beyond myself; even silently…to fight with my own body pains and suffers…to overcome its limiting knowledge with my faith and rationalism…to reason about everything within this life through my intellect, and to deduce or suffice about what’s beyond it through my faith in the Creator, to Whom I have reached with my intellect. I hate my limiting body, but I find joy in tolerating its pains and shortcoming toward attaining the highest of this life. I am a human…and in being so, it makes all the meanings for which I would suffer.

 

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