Taxonomy of Message Undertaking

Living a life of a worthwhile message can be daunting, exhaustive, and full of struggles. Yet, it is the essence of a human being created to make a dent in this life; a human who lives for a transcendental aim: for a purpose beyond himself that extends him to eternity.

Does everyone of us live with a message? Actually, Must everyone live that type of life? Automatically yes, but the message does vary in worthiness, scale, perception, and impact.

I said automatically everyone has a message because at any point in time any human being would be living for something. The least of which is for example to make his survival; this is the most basic intrinsic message…But it lacks many other things; that’s why I appended to the automatic existence of a message other factors: worthiness, scale, perception, and impact.

1) Message Worthiness:

Not all messages have the same worthiness. For some have higher degress than others; and in saying so, we shall not neglect those with messages less in degree than others because everybody has a role and the solidarity of human existence mandates that people live with varying messages. Imagine all humans long for beings all scientists for the message of developing nations and humanity. We will not have those who bring up new generations, we will not have those who maintain social order, no people to develop economies…etc. To that end, a message is not a work you do to earn your living ONLY. Of course, your work on a message can bring you income to live, but your own inner intention must be aiming for something trancendental than just making money; that’s the difference of living a message while generating income and merely earning your living.

Frustration (Episode 1)

I thought of writing a quick post on a wide spread illness we suffer from in this ever increasing stresses and tightness of life. I also received some emails from different people as part of the Philosophy of Living In Your Own Words initiative; most of these emails entailed problems in which base frustration lies. This encouraged me to try to write this post to all of us!

Let’s start by putting a straightforward definition of frustration; in which I will put one derived from our own experiences and not a dictionary definition. In its basic sense, Frustration as we feel it is a situation when reality misses our expectations. Simply put, you expect or want A, life gives you B (or just don’t give you A)…you feel frustrated. And frustration peaks when what we expect or want is a basic legitimate need or expectation; like a job, home, or love.

There are two common sources of frustration: one caused by life and one caused by ourselves or the choices we make.

The most obvious cause of frustration is the one caused by life; which happens due to two things: either 1) life missed your expectation or need by not giving it to you or 2) life stresses and pushes you to have a need or an expectation that obviously currently not in your life. For example, you have a need or an ambition to be a doctor; destiny blocks your way and you couldn’t gain entrance to a Medicine school; you get frustrated. Another example, when you expect someone or a lover to give you a certain feeling and he/she doesn’t; you get frustrated. In these examples, life here misses your need or expectation. On the other sub-type, for example, living a quality of life became very expensive, so life stresses you to make more money which at this stress onset you are not having that more money; so you get frustrated. The difference is that the first is something incepted in us while the second wasn’t in us but life forced it on us. This difference as it seems clear but it is important as we will see later.

The other source of frustration is less obvious and sometimes dormant that it keeps disintegrating our health, happiness, personality, and focus; frustration caused by ourselves or the choices we make. This source of frustration is ultimately dangerous because suffering from it will cause us to lose what we have and will not achieve what we want to have due to blaming everything around us for causing us this frustration and never realize that it is our own choices that are causing us all the pains.

— Stay tunned for the next episode on Frustration as I compile more stories from readers. Feel free to share your views on Frustration!

Call, SMS to Win…A Gambling?

It is noticeable the explosive wide spread notion of “Call to Win…” and “SMS to Win…” sort of contests envading the world; through TVs basically. While this could be normal or familiar to many cultures, it’s real core is somehow concealed in a culture like the Middle East due to many people’s ignorance. In the Middle East, people normally do not gamble for religious or cultural reasons yet you would see many of them participating in this sort of call/sms answer to a question (usually a silly one) to win a certain prize. I ask that person isn’t this a gambling? That person would answer surprisingly, of course it’s not! To this type of people, they have known gambling as a table, cards, and a rolling ball. But that’s not the only form of gambling. Let’s see what’s wrong with doing something while its core or reality is not realized; when you do and don’t think of the truth behind things.

Let’s start by a necessary foundation.

How Gambling Works:

There are many forms of gambling. The familiar form that we see a lot in movies and to which our minds mistakenly associate gambling is the table with those cards, coins, and a rotating wheel with numbers written on it where a ball is pushed to roll in the opposite direction of the rotating wheel. This famous image our minds use as a synonym for gambling is called Roullete and is spread in hotel places called Casino. This is just one game in the family of gambling, but gambling has many other forms and many other games. Another famous form of gambling is playing cards where there is no rotating wheel or balls; just cards. In this form of gamble, each card has a value of points. The player with cards worth highest points wins the game. Cards are withdrew from a deck of cards; that is, players are not sure what type of cards will come to them; and hence, like the other forms of gambling, players are unsure of what will come to them. A third famous form of gambling is Lottery. In lottery form of gambling, players buy a lottery with a certain number for an X amount of money; then, they remain in the hope that the number they have bought wins. This foundational illustrations are aimed at giving you a sense that gambling has many forms and gives a base now to talk about the main concepts behind all gambling games:

  1. Randomness.
  2. Uncertainity.
  3. Independence of results & Unpredictability.
  4. Something called, House Profit.

WhenI searched the different gambling games, I could enlist the above four concepts that are visibly common to all gambling games. The first concept pertains that a player’s win is based on some random events. Meaning that, when the ball rolls around a rotating wheel, each time the ball would fall on a random sequence of numbers. One time the player would get it on number 14, the next X amount of times, he probably won’t. This gets us through to concept two; where the player is uncertain whether he will get the ball on the X number or not. The probability of getting the number you are gambling on is 50/50; like the probability of tossing a coin. You have 50% of getting a head and 50% of getting a tail no matter how tosses you do; and even if you could win a head 6 times, still each time you will play, your chances of getting a head will remain 50/50. Concept three states that the gamble game is independent of any previous games. For example, a beginner gambler myth is that since the rolling ball falls on number 14 many times; then, placing your money on 14 would increase your chances of winning. Gambling is totally unpredictable no matter what strategies are employed in a pursuit of increasing chances of winning. Fourth concept is important here. House profit is the money the place hosting the gamble for you would make out of your playing. How a hotel casino would benefit from players? The amount of money the casino or the place offering you the gamble game would make is called House Profit; not only players win, the game provider must win as well. In a casino setting of gambling, the casino would usually charge players for placing a bid. For example, for you to bid on number X with X amount of money, you will have to pay the casino a factor X. This is not the only way for gambling houses to make profit; some place a charge per hour…etc.

With these main concepts enumerated and the different forms of gamble games examples I have provided above, it is worth noting that such games are also available online; players don’t have to go to Casinos to play. But this drives us to an important question; if players don’t have to go to gamble houses like a hotel casino, how can the house or the game provider make money? Well, online casinos make money the same way; players must credit them with the bid cost through their credit cards online…But there is another way for making the House Profit; that will be illustrated in the next section.

How Call/SMS to Win Works:

TV contests that pop up to you on TVs with a question for you: “Send your answer or call number XXXXXX and win XXXXX amount of money”. Depending on the country rules for this, usually the prize value must first be deposited in the legal channel that allows this contest. For example, if I to make such contest on TV for a prize of 3000, at the time I register this contest (at the designated legal authority) to be presented on TVs and I am given a phone number for players to call on, I have to give them that 3000 amount for their Under Hold. Legal authorities franchising those contests enforces this as a guarantee that the thing is real and that the prize will really be given to a person (the winner). And that winner is the one who goes to that place to cash out the prize once declared as the winner by the contest maker (me). Now, how those contest makers make money. Like the House profit, you pay for placing a bid. Your bid is your answer…and for you to place it, you have to call or send SMS. When you do so, who gets the price of your call or SMS. That service when given, the contest maker is given a special phone number and a special SMS number. You will be charged by calling this number or SMS to it. That’s the charge of your bid; that part of it goes to the contest maker and part of it goes to the legal authority that franchises this contest. The difference here is that in the Roullete, the event is unknown and unpredictable but with the question/answer model, you know that your answer is correct to the prize. This makes the Call/SMS to Win more like the Lottery. You place your answer and pay the money with your call/SMS charge just to have a number…and that number is like the one that get printed on the rotating wheel and the prize maker is the gamble dealer who pushes the metal ball. If the ball falls in your number (that you gained by answering the question right), you win the prize. The one last point, how these contest maker make sure that they profit the amount they need? If the maker is offering 3000 for answering a question, he has to receive 7000 through your calls or SMS. He gives you the 3000 prize, the legal authority takes 2000, and the maker finally profits 2000 net. That’s why you can notice that those contests give really silly and tediously easy questions so that everybody can answer them; it’s like it’s a very easy question that I can answer with a small call fee that might get me the large prize. In this sense, lots of people place calls that worth money more than the the offered prize while only one gets it and the rest goes to the beneficiaries.

It’s like a Lottery gamble that burns down to a Roullete at the end; it’s just the mean to that Roullete is misleadingly different. You answer the question and pay for placing that answer through your call/SMS. Now you reserved a seat on the Roullete table with a number. Your number now is like the numbers imprinted on the Roullete wheel among the other players; with your all answers placed, you become number on the Roullete wheel. Now, the gamble dealer (the contest maker) sits and pushes the rolling ball. If the ball falls in your number, you win…and the rest hard luck next time.

It’s very sad to see a culture, a religion, and a society who prohibit gambling yet finding their sons and daughters falling in this trap with ignorace to the reality of what they are getting themselves into. It’s a pitty to see it offered everywhere in TVs and Radios.

Call or SMS to win contests…It’s a gambling in its full corners. Give it a sense of mind, if you call yourself a disbeliever in gambling…Or else have no shame visiting a Casino. Better doing it in its nakedness than doing it and fooling yourself that you are not a gambler.

Who You Are? (On Identity Crisis)

Your identity is something that gets shaped over the span of your lifetime from childhood up to adolescence and so forth. Many factors contributed to who you became now: primary socialization (parents), environment, friends, study, society, religion…etc. Going through these factors while you traverse your life timeline you interact with them; and it’s your interaction to these factors that shapes your unique identity. The unique identity is the perception you hold about who you think you are; uniquely as a person or collectively within a member of a community or group (our identity is not separate from belongingness).

Given the strength of factors and their enduring nature that shaped you all these years, who you are might be something that exist only in your mind. This has dramatic impacts on the quality of your life and its healthiness. Here are two types of life-led identity: 1) If you are convinced that who you are is really out there and reflected in your life while in reality it’s only existing in your mind; then, you will live an illusion and eventually you will discover the truth of who you were only on your death bed (or if you are lucky enough that life shocks you with the reality on the way so you wake up and revise yourself). 2) If you are aware that who you are is existing only in your mind and is not reflected in your life; then, you will be living depressed and tensed that your life is not aligned with what you identify yourself of being. However, this second one is better than the first because in this case there is always a chance that you actualize your mind existing identity. At any case, awareness is a God given capability a human being can have; that I believe, God did not grant for everybody in this specific sense, awarenss of one’s self and that self’s doings. Now let’s discuss what causes behind these types and what we should do about them.

The first type, a person living convinced that he is the one that he thinks he is; by ‘he thinks’ I mean he spends his life totally convinced that he lived doing and qualified in that doing during his life time. For example, how many times we hear singers talking in TV shows on how talened they are and how valuable their work to the human kind. You hear an actor talking on how his new movie has fixed a whole society and how his movie has discussed a societal case…that without his movie, people would have lived in the dark age! You hear those actors and singers while you can see that they are totally convinced that they are saving their community by discussing red-line cases in their movies. They live convinced of their doings which are representing values to the community. A less dramatic example away of celebrities, is university professors; for example. Some of university professors live convinced that they are educating students and how their doing is a sainted one. They live convinced that they are giving the science and enlightening knowledge to the generation. And many many many of these examples we see in our daily life when visiting a doctor, a lawyer…to hearing street folks talking about football matches as if they are the experts of it. The dangerous pattern is not talking or doing, the dangerous pattern starts to kick in when you see that the person is really convinced that he is really this person or he is really doing this while in fact he is not that person and he is not really doing it. In this regard, Prophet Mohammed says “God have given Mercy to a human who truely knew who he is”. Yes its a mercy granted by your self-awareness that God did not grant for everybody.

The second type is less dangerous, but unfortunately, very painful and unhealthy. This is the person who lives identifying himself as something or someone yet he knows that this is the identity he has for himself in his mind only but he is not actually doing that something or being that someone. For example, a person may live holding the identity that he is a scientist or an expert in something yet he is not doing research or providing knowledge in this thing. It’s like saying “I am a scientist”…but actually you are spending your life going to your ‘non-scientific’ employment during the day and watching TV or hanging out in the evening. You are not spending your daily life reading papers, doing research, investigating knowledge, writing articles, publishing research, communicating with like-minded scientists….etc. In other words, you identify yourself as someone and that’s the identity you hold for yourself in your mind yet your life is not reflecting this identity…but the difference here from the first type is that You Are Aware and Know very well that you are not living the person or the thing you identify yourself with. This is depressive and unhealthy because you will not enjoy your life; you go to the morning work not enjoying and you watch TV at night not enjoying…because deep inside you that’s not the life of the someone or something that you have in your mind.

About the treatment for those two types. In its straightforward sense, the first type treatment is to be shocked by a life event someday that forces him to see his reality in its nakedness. Now, that person will painfully discover that he is not who he thinks he was or was doing. That’s a type of mercy from God by which God confronts the human to a painful experience for him to wake up; it’s a mercy given in a type of a lesson. That’s why in front of painful experiences, it’s important to learn from them and see the lesson delivered by God instead of just whinning about them. There is still a second treatment for the first type that is less painful and is God given as well which is the person suddenly sees the reality. It could be through seeing some event not related to him or he just wake up spontaneously someday. How many of us got aware of something by seeing another person paying for a similar mistake and how many of us just happen to change their way of life because of a day in which you could see the reality in its truth for the first time. Secondly, the treatment for the second type. The treatment is simply human-will and discipline. For those who hold an identity that they are someone or something yet not exercising this in their life. Why what you think you really is not reflected in your life while you know it’s not? It because you don’t have the strong will to do what it takes for the identity you have or because you don’t have the discipline. For example, if you identify yourself as a scientist in Medicine, well that’s good, but you will need a strong will to work out through challenges, a will to pay the effort and stress, and a will to force that identity into your existence. You will need a discipline because you will need to spend lots of time reading research, writing, investigating, reading lots of books, and hard time thinking. The discipline is needed to tailor your life to this person’s type of living and give away some pleasures, which if you looked carefully, will find that you are not truely enjoying them because your identity is not in your life (if you are the second type). To conclude, for the first type of identity holders, you will need to look around you carefully and learn lessons delivered to you and to those around you; you will need to increase your awareness so that you detect illusions about who you think you are. For the second type of identity holders, what are you waiting for; work your will and discipline yourself in getting what you know you are into your life. Don’t leave who you are to be just in your mind…live it in every hour of your life.

All of the above are details; however, I would like to close this post with a quick and straightforward words that can be used and memorized for the above details that you can always remember as you go in the journey of your life: Who you are is what you spend your days doing. If you think you are an honest person, watch your daily life and ask yourself: Do I acted this day as an honest person? If you think you are a writer, watch your daily life and ask yourself: Did I spend some time writing or studying for writing or learning for writing? If you think you are a scientist in a field, watch your daily life and ask yourself: Did I read books in my area of scientific interest or did I read research papers in my field or did I spend time with scientific problems I wish to solve?

To be what you think you are or to be what you want to be, make sure that you do the things of that person or that something every day. You will be what you identify yourself to be and you will be what you want to be…

Why Philosophy?

I once had a friend of mine asking me “Why Philosophy?”. He was asking that question not underestimating Philosophy, but actually underestimating its role in our lives. He was convinced that Philosophy is a theoritical talking made by people who have luxury of mind and some time to spend working that machine to output whatever they do…At the end, this is called their Philosophy.

Imagine this life without you not understanding the reality of everything? Can you tolerate living this way? I doubt; because when a single event happens to you to which you couldn’t find any reason or truthful reality that explains it, you feel desperate and confused. That’s why in the dark age, people used to believe in supernatural power; when everything they used to attribute and explain as made by some high external force like ghosts and such. Why they did so? They did so because there were many phenomena to which scientific advancements could still explain

On The Death Bed (A Thought Experiment)

You are now laying on your death bed. What would be the things you regret not doing? What would be the things you regret doing? On your final destination in life, what would be the things that you would wish to be given time again to do?

I use this technique while standing on my living feet in order to grab myself back on track from the noisy illusions and distractions in this life. In doing so, I not only return back on track to what I really want to do, but to my surprise, it sometimes helps me discover that some of the things I am doing are not the things that I really want to do. Another beneficial vision I obtain from this exercise is that it teaches me how to use sacrifices. For example, one might feel reluctant or unwilling to sacrifice for the sake of something by giving away something I have or can have. This is because the something at his/her possession now might be giving immediate pleasure. But on the death bed, pleasures would fall and only real values and meanings remain.

When you imagine that your life is at its end, you can see clearly the things that you would cry hotly that you did not do or accomplish during your life time. All the time wasted becomes a dire regret that death itself becomes not the issue as much as you are facing it without what you were supposed to do. If you try this thought experiment, you will get to know how hard the feeling is to be leaving without doing what you really wanted to do. On the other hand, see whoever accomplished what he/she has taken to be his mission or message in life when laying on death bed; so peaceful, relieved, and satisfied that he/she seems to be welcoming death.

Death is not a problem as much as the question of what you will have done by the time it arrives to you. If you are the one who accomplished what he/she really wanted to do in this life in a correct and appropriate way, you will be very relieved. I stressed on “correct” and “appropriate” to exclude those who lived only to achieve wealth of money or unethical targets.

Learn how you should live your life by letting “On the Death Bed” technique teach you the sacrifices you should make or not to make, what you really want to do or should be doing in this life (discover your mission and message), and by letting it bring you back on track to what you really want to do or already doing when you get lost in this life that is full of distractions.

At the end of your life, you stand barely with no possessions; only what you were supposed to do by being once in this life is what matters to your condition at the moment you are on the death bed. Start with the end in mind and fix your everyday doings to that end you wish to be granted. Know what you want to do in this life according to the end you would like to see yourself into…and do it no matter what; because at the end, there will be no reasons, no justifications, and no excuses you would accept for yourself as a why for not doing what you wanted to do or be.

For life is too short to be little…

Aims (From my Personal Journal)

I was sitting deciding on a post to write; between my hands my personal journal that I write into many times per day. I came across an entry I wrote one year ago (23/05/2010); that I liked to share on my blog. It’s about aims we set in our lives, how bad they can be, and how healthy they could be!

Psychologists say that one of mental healthiness elements is that there must be something in your life that you would be ready to receive a bullet for the sake of it…An aim or target or some sort of a meaning for which you dedicate your life to. Whatever that meaning is, it differs from one person to another and we should not say that one is better than one (though there is this discrimination in Philosophy of Ethics that I personally believe into, “I am Aristotelian”) because those meanings or ends are very subjective. For one person, his/her children can be the life in which he/she lives into; for another it’s that humanity problem of lacking medications to certain terminal diseases like Cancer. Enough with introductory; that’s not what I am here for.

I am here to talk about what after you decide on the aims in your life, your message, your meanings, and your targets? I would like to note that an aim in order to be healthy is that it should start and end in you; not in any external thing outside you. For example, some people aim to be politicians (starts in them), but their end is not to be the people who maintain social order and make better communities; their end is fame, power, money…etc (now, the aim ends outside them). Not just the evil does so, but anyone of us, from the noblest to the opportunitist, can fall in the trap of self-betrayal; of pursuing something ending in something external to you, something you did not want for the sake of its own good, but for the sake of something else appealing to you like power or money or fame.

Let me demonstrate with a simple example I have prepared to explain how this possible delusionary image of your aims can stand between you and the true meanings of what your aims claim to have (Pardon my drawing):

Standing where you are, seeing your aims…yet in your intentional self (with your mind and soul eyes) you are looking at the noble and true meanings of your aims. Now, you want to be the doctor who cures Cancer (Ego aim in the middle) because you want to relieve humanity from that painful disease (Transcendental aim) not because you want to be called the genius doctor or gain money (the case that happens when we are blocked by the Visionary Self-illusion). With this setting, you have put a healthy scenario to your aims pursuit and not to get misled by the potential brightness of your aims that may attract you to pursue other means rather than the meanings of your aims. With this settings, you live a life of a mission and hard work yet enjoy every minute in it because you are satisfied with being working on an aim with that meaning and you don’t care if you ever reached it or not because the true meaning is within you and not a certain acquisition that you don’t want to die and miss its enjoyment.

Set meanings to your life and put aims for those meanings…and never let your self fool you with a noble aim in itself that may distract you by it shinny outcomes. Never let an aim you have go without attaching a meaning to it within you and for its own sake…a meaning beyond you and this life.

If all the prophets have tolerated the torture of carrying the messages they were asked to deliver just for the sake of being sainted and mentioned by people, their efforts and pains would have ended in vain…However, Prophets have tolerated the burden of their messages for the sake of God and enlightening people from their darkness…Even this journey could have been illusionary without transcendental aims.

Wake up to your aims…Keep monitoring the Self inside you.

 

 

the gap failure

A study you could not pursue, a profession you could not practice, a goal you could not achieve, a status you could not attain, a love you could not own…a gap that is failed to be crossed.

Between each one of us and everything in life is a gap. It’s like we live our lives in discrete points not continuous ones; a manner that makes our rest is just a point and our burden is a complete journey, the crossing line between the point where we are standing and the point where we want to reach.

Points_of_life

In this sense, our lives pass into phases in which we perceive a next point and we presume that this next point shall be our point of rest once achieved. For example, a college student burdened with the load of study sees the point when he graduates; and presumes that when he does, this shall be a rest point. However, when he reaches that point, the rest is just a point..now he foresees another point ahead (with another gap) and presumes again that this point shall be a point of rest…and it goes.

This continuous undertaking of a discrete path of life is what’s mandating on us a continuous gap. And gap means a stress inside you between where you are now and where you want to be. This is what’s making us always running…and most importantly, frustrated, hopeless, and angry in many cases…because in many cases the gap fails and we never reach the next discrete point we drew as our next station. We remain desperate as if life has collapsed in front of us; because once we drew our next point, it becomes the life to us…that when we fail to cross the gap and reach it, we see life fails!

Some call for considering those discrete points as multiple options. If you failed to reach a point, switch to another one. Well, that is not an option. Because life has to continue, we are compelled to move to another discrete point whether we like it or not. The luckiest of all is the one who could find a “Substitute” point to the original desired one he couldn’t reach…the saddest of all is the one who could only find an “Alternative”. What’s the difference? A substitute is something different in the form of the original but leads to the same end for it contains the like meanings; An alternative is something totally different in its meanings and its end. The saddest fact is that we are not that free to make a substitute or an alternative because many points we choose for ourselves have no substitute; just alternatives. The only thing that we can change is our own mind set or attitude towards that alternative in such a way that we adjust our desired destination to it instead of the original one…by convincing ourselves or by discovering ourselves in a new dimension. To illustrate with an example, a young person wishing to be a physician. This is his next discrete point in life; the gap is to pass the entrance exams and be admitted to the school of Medicine. The gap fails and that person could no longer admit to this desired school. In this case, there is no Substitute to being a physician unless entering that school, but there are alternatives by entering any of the rest. That person is confined either to be classified as the saddest of all since the gap has failed and there is no substitute or to discover himself in a new way by acknowledging that he is intelligent in Mathematics and can be interested and successful in being an engineer or a mathematician or to convince himself with the alternative he will pursue by saying that engineers have more lucrative job opportunities, for example.

But…we can never forget the impact of the gap failure. The painful feeling of it; especially, when imposed on us with the brutality of destiny. In this regard, it is the complete prudence to say that we must be restless in finding “Substitutes” and never rest and fade away in the outnumbered alternatives…Alternatives are like sand, but substitutes are like diamonds. Our only hope and our last vehicle in living a life compliant with our meanings is to find the right substitute(s) that could amend the painful gap failure or allow us to reach our originally desired discrete point; not directly but through another point. But giving up and blinding our eyes from seeing real substitutes will draw our life in a line that would not satisfy us. Though I classified types with no Substitutes on the theoritical level, we should not believe in having no substitutes. That young person can still live the life of a physician without entering the school of Medicine at the time he thought to be the only time to do so. The history is full of these stories…of people refused to accept an exile in a discrete point they didn’t wish to enter.

The unforgotten

Could be a person, a place, or a memory; it’s something that remains unforgotten. Being tied to someone or a place or a memory that keeps enduring the ages is something intriguing. Even if we seem to pass on with our lives, it remains unforgotten inside us and gets out traumatically every now or then.

Away of any medical justifications, I am dealing with that casually on the very human level. Like I said, the purpose of this philosophy of living posts is to be near to every one of us without over philosophizing things.

Why don’t we forget some persons or memories in our lives? Is it that person or memory had an impact in our lives? Or is it because we love this person or memory? Or is it because we got emotionally used to someone or some things we used to do and now are memories? If it is because of just being used to someone or something, well, with time passing without practicing doing something or being with someone, we shall start not to be ‘used to’; therefore, we will forget. So it’s not because we are used to something or someone; unless this ‘used to’ comes hand in hand with another things like I will discuss. The matter of the unforgotten is bigger than just being used to.

It remains now the ‘impact’ reason or the ‘love’ reason. Firstly, what’s about the impact? Sometimes we don’t forget because someone or something has placed an impact on us or our lives; positive or negative. Secondly, the ‘love’ factor. I believe that love is the element that resembles all; the impact and the used to. This is because when we love someone or something; then, we will be used to the beauty we have when being with that someone or when doing that something and we will be impacted by that someone or something regardless of being it negative or positive. We may directly understand the positive, but why the negative when I speak of love involvement? Because if we don’t love any about that someone or that thing; then, we wouldn’t be shaken by the negative. For example, if you don’t love driving cars, you won’t be affected positively when there is a car and; thus, you won’t be affected negatively with lacking one. Another example, when you have a bad father who caused you pains in your life, when you feel angry on him it’s because he harmed you, but at the same time it’s because you was in need to the positive rather than the negative from him. Thus, it’s love; because if there was no love involved, you wouldn’t be in need to the positive and then you won’t be affected by the negative.

At the end I would say, the person or the memory that we can’t forget is because we do love that person or that memory or anything about that something. And we may spend time battling with ourselves to forget that person or that memory. However, it’s for mental healthiness not to try to force ourselves to forget because the mind that is touched by love shall be continuously in need to live with that person or that memory unforgotten.

Live with the unforgotten inside you; it’s a very humanly feeling.

To the unforgotten in our life, we didn’t and we won’t forget you…because we love you and we love something about you.

Apology to the essential person

The most explicit form of apology is when we apologize to others for wrong doings or pain we might have caused to them. But in many cases, we neglect to apologize to the essential person; one’s own self. Many of the mistakes we do to others are initially mistakes we do to ourselves.

When we apologize to ourselves for the shortcomings we have and by them we have caused pain to others, we not only acknowledge our own mistakes toward others but also we acknowledge that repair starts from within. When we work on making a better version of us, now we can shine our light to all around us.

We stay regretful to all what we have caused to our friends, our families, and our beloved. As we move in life, we get sadness and we cause sadness…and in every move, we should apologize to ourselves alongside our apologies to the person we have offended. With this, we will have to work on not causing ourselves the pain that we feel by causing pain to others. When you apologize to yourself as part of the equation, you will have to do something about it from the sense of ownership; thus, you will change. However, when you only apologize to the other, you will be trying to do something for the other like saying words or buying gifts…but you, the one who made the mistake, will remain the same.

When we do mistakes to others, let’s not only focus on apologizing to them and making it up for the person to whom we caused pain, but also let’s apologize for that self that we shaped in this image that caused all of this pain to others.

Why do we put that self inside us in that image that causes pain to others? Apologize for the essential person; your own self…for that you are the one who put that self in that image which caused all these pains.